Old:
You accidentally throw your phone off a two-story building. Oh, I’ll go get it later, you say, when your friend asks if you want to check on it. Mobile phone falls and breaks on the concrete ground in slow motion.
New:
The phone is at least a million times faster than the most powerful computer you’ve ever had. You’re sure of this. You’ve done tests.
Old:
WHY IS THIS ONE TAKING THREE MINUTES TO ADD TEXT OMG, SLOWWWW????
New:
My phone charges practically by itself, just being near the charger or literally, if it has got wireless charging.
Old:
You spend 20 minutes positioning the charging cable just right, because your phone’s MicroUSB jack broke a long time ago.
New:
Hours, no days, are spent configuring your new phone, so it’s perfect. Fonts are changed, apps are put in folders, lock screen wallpapers are downloaded.
Old:
Your five-year-old cousin got hold of your phone at a family gathering. Instead of bothering to change the ringtone from the Dora the Explorer theme song. You just leave your phone on silent for the rest of its life.
New:
It starts to sprinkle rain as you’re walking home. You immediately take off your jacket wrap it around your phone for protection.
Old:
This phone gets dirty. Might as well wash it off in the sink!
New:
You refuse to let anyone get near, or use your phone, for fear they might damage, or worse, drop it!
Old:
Your friend asks to use your phone you say, Are you sure? It has no reception, and the battery dies every 10 minutes, but if you want to, go for it.
New:
You take tons of mirror selfies, so people can see you have the latest, sexiest gadget.
Old:
Only regular selfies from now on.
New:
Wow, this camera is so sharp, it’s better than a microscope. Just, look at the detail in this shot!
Old:
Nahhh, this camera is so ridiculous. It looks like a 1990’s era webcam. most embarrassing!
New:
You look sideways at everyone eyeing your new phone. You’re afraid they might steal it.
Old:
You accidentally left your phone in a cab so, OOhh dear, you have to buy a new one. But since even the cabbie didn’t want your crappy old phone, he called you and returned it. You didn’t even tip him when he came back with it.
